A Thread: He-Gassen: The Japanese Fart Competition

He-Gassen (The Fart Competition) is a scroll by unknown artist(s) from The Edo Period of Japan. That is the facts that will be laid out in this thread. The rest is the scroll as I read it in a how to format.

wikiHOW to FART COMPETITION

1) First the village elders must discuss where to get the konjac (Japanese yams). This is a mundane but important part of any good Fart Competition.

2) The collecting of said yams and more discussion on how to cook them.

3) Invites must go out. Usually word of mouth works best.

4) Cook and consume the yams.

5) Start letting them rip.

6) Prepare to use what you can to combat the wind blowing your way.

7) This includes, but isn't limited to, using fans to force the fanny fog back on it's dealer.

8) Always avoid getting downwind of Bob. Bob's fecal fume can eat through just about anything.

9) Let everyone in on the fun. Fart Competitions were never just a guy's sport.

10) When you reach expert level, see our Wiki How on How to make portable 'Dutch Ovens'.

11) They have the power of a 1000 cornhole tremors and will make your team the envy of the battle.

12) Jumping up on a horse and letting your sphincter whistle blow is a fair move.

13) But not recommended.

14) Sometimes it's just nice to give up and take it all in.

15) Be careful of any loose debris lying around as it may be picked up in the powerful gusts of yam winds and hurt someone.

16) And always make sure there are enough yams to keep the battle going.

17) A bit a caution, because there are always opportunists out there ready to make out in war…even if that war is just a fun flatulence escapade with the local village.